A New Page of Bob
So I’ve been digging through the official Page of Bob analytics and it’s clear that the site hasn’t been seen by any living thing in well over a year. (Note: I don’t count; I’m as dead inside as the pile of empty pizza boxes I sleep on most nights.) And while part of me is sad to see my former readers flocking to other, better websites, another, more important part of me is revealed.
Sure, running one of the world’s most popular websites (averaging tens of hits a week) is a thrill and an honor, but it’s also a drag. People ask me to go out and I say “No, I cannot. For I’ve this website I must update. My fans shan’t disappointed be this night!” Then I put my monocle away, raise my arms and drift into the atmosphere on the wisps of the dreams of children.
Alright, all of that was a steaming pile of horse apples, except that no one reads the site anymore—that part’s true. But having no audience means having no preexisting expectations, no yardstick by which the type and quality of my writing will be measured, a blank slate.
And as you can clearly see, I’m setting the bar pretty high right out of the gate.
So here it is: the new Page of Bob. Welcome. Now comes the part where I’m supposed to explain what exciting things I have in store. But I won’t, because I don’t. I don’t know where this site is going or what I’ll post next. Maybe it’ll be some overly technical article where I fail to explain what a monad is or how it can be used as a parser. Or perhaps I’ll over-analyze one of my favorite songs substituting pop-psych clichés for actual insight. Or maybe I’ll just regurgitate political opinions in fervent, unyielding absolutes that are neither persuasive nor useful.
Likely as not it’ll be a rambling article that never quite gets to the point point and ends entirely too abruptly.